Street smart lessons from my husband

No two people think alike.  Marriage brings two people together who have had different upbringings and different life experiences. Here are a few things that I have learned from my husband in our 14 years of marriage.  I don’t mean “Deep Thoughts by Dan Carter”… just simple things that I have learned from him.  Street smart lessons.

1)  When parking, always back in.  I have to say that when we started dating and Dan always backed in I thought that he was profiling his car.  You know like a teenager in love wit his new ride.  But that behavior didn’t match Dan’s personality so one day I asked why he was so intent on backing in to a parking space.  His reply was simple, because that way you always start out going forward.  So we back in everywhere we go.  And when we start our day, we are always moving forward – love that!

2)  Finish it that day.  We opened businesses together right from the start and that is no easy task; early mornings, late nights, no weekends, very few vacations.  I am a checklist kind of girl.  If I make a list, my stress load decreases by 90%.  There were nights where I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up and finish those last few items in the morning.  Dan always encouraged and motivated me to “finish it today”, tomorrow will hold a new list of things that need to get done.  He was right, always.  I sleep better knowing that I have knocked it out and tomorrow brings new challenges and tasks.

3)  Men get over it.  I am so glad I learned this one early.  Dan had some help from his brother Ed on this lesson for me.  Ed and his wife Michelle had come to stay with us and Ed was working in one of our fitness centers.  One night after closing the facility we were there doing some close outs, follow up, etc.  I cannot for the life of me recollect what Dan and Ed began to disagree about but it was HEATED.  I was in my office thinking, “How in the world will we all go home together.  This is going to be miserable.”  We left and made it home and as I tiptoed through the house and made it to the kitchen to try and give Michelle a heads up that this would be an uncomfortable evening, I passed through the living room where the Bruins game was on.  Dan and Ed sat on the couch, beers in hand and were joking about something that had just happened.  I was astonished.  The argument they had had 30 minutes prior would have caused female best friends to disassociate for a minimum of 7 years.  Men get over it.  This is an important lesson for moms of boys.  Boys won’t crumble like little girls will and in the end, they get over it.

4)  Generic is not always better.  Dan is as frugal as they come, ask anyone who knows him.  If he doesn’t get a deal on an item, it wasn’t worth having.  However, there are two things Dan will say you can’t go generic on at the grocery store – trash bags and Qtips.  I realize those are just his personal items of choice that cannot be generic.  The lesson here is that sometimes quality does outweigh frugality. 

There are hundreds of spiritual, emotional, business and parenting lessons I have learned from him too.  I certainly do not mean for this to be some type of all inclusive list.  Just a few nods to some things I have learned from him in our 14 years of marriage.